Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents

http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html

In this article by Stephanie Pappas, the controversy over homosexual parenting is addressed. The article begins by asserting that homosexual couples may actually be better committed to parenting because when they become parents it is by choice. This is juxtaposed with the number of nearly one half of pregnancies being the result of an accident. In turn, this comparison is used as reason to believe that gay parents may actually in fact be better than heterosexual parents.

Although that may be a far stretch, it is important to assess the gendered stereotypes that currently exist causing people to believe that two women, or two men, are incapable of properly raising a child. The overall assumption can be made that societally, roles are assigned to parents as a result of their gender. We find that mothers are supposed to be nurturing, and caring, while fathers are supposed to be more of the disciplinarian, and the lecturer. This article states that, "While you do find broad differences between how men and women parent on average ... there is much more diversity within the genders than between them" (Pappas).

The author blames the overall controversy of homosexual parenting on the reiteration of social oppressions in society. Standards that are believed to exist, paired with legislation that puts non-heterosexual couples at a disadvantage, are the current causes for why homosexual parenting is seen to be improper for raising a child.

Bakery Denies Same-Sex Couple Wedding Cake

Bakery Denies Same-Sex Couple Wedding Cake

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/business/2013/02/bakery-denies-same-sex-couple-wedding-cake/

A bakery in Oregon refused making a cake for a same-sex wedding because it would be against the religious relief of the owner of the bakery. Discrimination based on the sexual orientation and gender identity is prohibited. However, at the same time, the freedom of religion is guaranteed to every citizen as a fundamental human right. The owner of the bakery insists his right to practice his religion. Though the article does not mention the owner’s religion, there are a lot of religions which take homosexuality as guilt. Some sects of Christianity, for example, oppose the homosexuality while what they see as a sin is different from same-sex relationship itself to the sexual act between same-sex members. The idea is that sexual practice lacking the potential productivity can be regarded as a sex for pleasure, and it is against the principle with which seeking pleasure is not good things. I think this article can open up the complicated issue between the sexual orientation and religion, and it is related to the politics about same-sex marriage and domestic partnership statuses in the States.

Reading this article, I realized that heteronormativity in our society is shaped both by physical and non-physical elements and even if we continue to work hard to eliminate unequal political and economical systems, it would be nearly impossible to eliminate the discrimination completely unless we can exclude the inequality in abstract notions like religions. In the society I belong to, heterosexuality is the normal and it makes sense in terms of unbalanced power relationship between men and women in the present condition of our society. It is a normal case that a man supports the family economically and the wife satisfies the domestic and emotional needs of the man. In a sense, getting married to men can be seen as economical stability for women will live their married lives relying on their husbands’ income. I believe this economical inequality can be eliminated by providing support for women to get engaged in higher education or high-waged jobs, and improving women’s social position in the society. However, gender discrimination based on the religions would be far more difficult to be denied because it is non-physical and conceptual thing which can be rooted deeply in the people’s belief system. And religious belief is usually taken as absolute truth and it is difficult to get rid of it from the strong believers. As the case of the baker in Oregon, religious belief can have power more than any other rationality.

Religions play significant role in socialization process and shaping one’s social identity. I understand that belong to the religion and believing in its principles are totally fine and it should be allowed to every one as a fundamental human right but in terms of a inequality based of gender or race, we should be cautious about its rationality and justice.

Sexy be ... not sexual.

Pop star in early twenties shaves head.

When you hear this phrase I would assume the first picture that pops up into your head is the image of a very distraught, tear streaked face of Britney Spears from 2007.  However, as of last week, that is not the only image circulating the internet that fits that description.

Minami Minegishi, a member of the Japanese pop group AKB48, fell victim to the same pressures. Not long after a photograph showing her leaving her boyfriend’s apartment one morning was circulated, Minegishi released a video on the band’s YouTube page was released. A tearful Minegishi apologized, saying she had been, “thoughtless and immature.”  The video received over 7.3 million views before it was removed.

Much like America saw in 2007 with Spears, Pop Stars are supposed to exude sexuality and desirability to their audience but they themselves should be untouchable, virginal. These sexual scripts, which particularly apply to female Pop Stars, dictate who the woman is in her personal life as well as their public persona. 

The women are encouraged to be overtly sexual on camera, producing borderline pornographic commercials, but are not allowed to be sexual themselves. Indeed a 20 year old woman having consensual is cause for self-punishment. Minegishi, in an act of guilt and shame, shaved her own head as a mark of her disgrace.

Much like the case with Spears, the male counterparts are seen as making no mistake. Minegishi’s boyfriend, also part of a Japanese Pop group, faces no retribution.

Why does this dichotomy exist and how does it inform the young women who see these images and hear of these “scandals” as part of their daily lives?

They are put in a no win situation. If they dress like the media tells them to dress, they are labeled a slut or tease; if they don’t dress in that way they are labeled a prude.

At some point, people are going to have to stop viewing the media as what dictates our social and sexual scripts. 

Team Beyonce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkr_lhpH0qE 

           She is titled as the most beautiful woman in the world. I must say any man I know will kiss the ground she walks on. After watching the super bowl’s half time show her outstanding performance speaks for all. She is a golden goddess.  Who stomps her way through the stage with raging confidence pierces the hearts of my male identified friends. Her dancers, stage, outfit; and everything illuminates the history she has marked on pop culture. Beyoncé Knowles is the product of sex, love and intimacy. In my eyes and the goose bumps that travel my spine, she owns the world. 

            As an artist Knowles was ranked number one on Forbes list as the most powerful and influential musician in the world. Her Artistry in music, voice, and public image is a business legacy. Despite her cross over sex symbol, Knowles sells her voice rather than her dignity to 75 million records worldwide. Stating “I like to dress sexy and I carry myself like a lady”. Many of her music themes and styles were inspired by her role in DreamGirls (2006) to put voice in feminism and female empowerment. Supported in her performance Destiny’s Child band reappears once again by her side. Together not only they paved their heels into the stage have founded Survivor Foundation, a charitable entity for Hurricane Katrina. Their contribution has donated to over thousands to benefit the cause. Knowles continuous community outreach has touched many. She is a career woman, an artist, producer, actress, dancer, model, and choreographer. Although she is known for her multi- occupation in the entertainment industry, she is most of all, a wife and mother.  Embarking the words sex, intimacy and spreading the love Beyoncé Knowles has taken its meaning beyond as a product to a living consumer, she will endlessly digest the world.   

references: 

http://www.thebiographychannel.co.uk/biographies/beyonce-knowles.html 

Creating a Family with a Trans* Partner

When the choice has been made to begin a family with your partner it seems most people have a sort of plan that goes with it. More and more in today's world couples are choosing to raise children in as much of a gender-neutral environment as possible. In the various stories I've heard it's generally because the parents believe in equal rights for all and don't want to pressure a child into feeling as if such a large choice has already been made for them before they can even say their alphabet.

What I'm more interested in was stemmed by an article I read from the Huffington Post (linked at the end of this post); parents choosing to raise gender-neutral babies because one of them is trans*. In this article a couple, Erin and Evan, were only months into the process of trying and conceiving a child when Evan came out as a trans* woman. I particularly enjoyed this article because it addresses the benefits and triumphs of the couple, but Erin also discusses her struggles with Evan's transition. She addresses how her "years of gender socializing" guided her initial thoughts of her partners transition. It was interesting to see the concepts of our readings and class discussions be applied so heavily to a real life situation. As a queer woman I've gone through various challenges but I don't feel I've ever experienced anything of this magnitude.

For some, a partner's abandonment of their heternormative privilege and social status would be too much. Fortunately for the couple they were able to support one another and continue forward in raising their child. Erin discusses that Evan's transition led them to make sure they would raise their child as gender-neutral as possible, though they had been considering it prior to Evan coming out. With this they acknowledged the challenges they may face in a society where everything is color coded based upon the gender of a child/person. What I gathered from a family photo posted with the article is that they've been successfully doing the most important thing of all; raising a happy child that is very loved.

My Partner Came Out As Trans While I Was Pregnant

How Men View Women In Relation To Their Clothing

Does the way women dress influence the way men view them? This has been a long debated question, some groups and protesters such as 'SlutWalk' have come about to raise awareness to the idea that just because a women dresses provocatively does not mean she is at fault if a man accost her. While reading the chapter on female sexuality I began to think about this topic. I decided to do a little bit of research and was surprised when I came across a study done by Princeton University. According to this study men view women in bathing suits as objects instead of actual people. The study stated that "Men tend to associate bikini-clad women with first-person action verbs such as I "push," "handle" and "grab"... They associated fully clothed women with the third-person forms, indicating these women were perceived as in control of their own actions."The study also mentioned that this maybe a subconscious though and that men didn't look at women in this light intentionally.  While reading this it brought to mind the reading from Chapter 3 entitled Unraveling Hardwiring, as you may recall this article was about how our minds are programed from society and why we all think the way that we do. It's like our brains are computers and certain images connect with certain ideas. Now I'm not saying that it is any way okay for men to view women in bathing suits as objects rather than women but I do believe that our culture with the advertisements we show on T.V have a huge impact on the males perspective on how to treat a woman. Below I have included the link to the article with the full study explained and a clip from youtube which shows the objectification of women in commercials. I believe in order to change the way that men see and treat women we should change the way that women are portrayed in advertising and on television shows. If we start here I believe that we could change the way that our cultures brains are hardwired and possibly improve how women view themselves in the process.


Women Objectified

Princeton Study

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-siebel-newsom/challenging-sexism-and-vi_b_2602775.html?utm_hp_ref=media

"Challenging Sexism and Violence in Super Bowl Commercials"

This week there has been a lot of talk about the big game, Super Bowl Sunday is finally here. I chose an article talking about the game that was also directly linked to what we’ve been talking about in class. The article explains how over 100 million people will get together on Sunday February 3^rd to watch the Super Bowl and about half will be women. But yet a ton of the commercials and advertising we will see will be sexist and degrading to women. Not only that, but the entire concept is encouraging violence. The article says, “what's being broadcast is that men are only men when they are big and strong, and that to be a valued as a woman you must be sexy and on the sidelines.” This quote caught my attention immediately because it’s true, we are promoting such negative things to such a huge group of people. We blame the system to say that people are sexist and women are fighting to find equality yet our social media and the most viewed thing on television all year is still promoting degrading things.

It’s rationalized every year because it’s “tradition” and football is a huge American pastime. When people are used to something, they tend to be comfortable with it. The Super Bowl is known for its good commercials, advertisers pay millions of dollars to get an ad in during the game. So as long as these commercials continue to bring in revenue and get people buzzing, they will continue to make them. I think it’s sad that America is okay with the way things are and I feel bad for the kids that are going to be exposed to it all today. We need to do a better job with our youth because they are the future of our country.

Companies benefit from these commercials because it makes people talk and generates revenue for their business. The viewers are the people that lose from these advertisements because they are a bad influence. I feel like I am old enough now to neither benefit nor lose from these ads because I have my own values and opinions already formed so I know right from wrong and where I stand in the bigger picture. Little kids on the other hand, that don’t know better yet, won’t have that advantage. Sadly, I am contributing to the problem because I will be watching the game and I won’t be able to change the channel every time one of the ads plays to make that company lose a viewer. But if enough people catch on to the problem, maybe eventually we can branch off from the negative side effects linked to watching the Super Bowl. 

Sexual Stereotypes in Need of Overhaul

http://www.indianastatesman.com/opinion/sexual-stereotypes-in-need-of-overhaul-1.2974796#.UQ7o_qU0WSo

You would think that with the progress women have made in the workplace and in society that double standards about men and women when it comes to sex wouldn’t be a growing issue alongside with that success. It all starts with “gender roles” which date back far into history. Women are supposed to produce children and be “subservient” in the bedroom and men are expected to be masculine and aggressive about sex. Nowadays men are rewarded for having a lot of sex, and women are automatically called sluts or whores if they are at all sexually active outside of marriage. This article highlights one specific event where a woman was insulted for fighting for insurance that covers birth control. Rush Limbaugh responded to Sandra Fluke’s proposal by calling her a slut and a prostitute. Saying she is “having sex so frequently that she can’t afford all the birth-control pills that she needs.” Sandra never stated that she was having extreme amount of sex, nor did she need to say anything about her sex life. Whether it was one or more people, why should it be any of our business? The fact that she was insulted so severely for merely wanting something to prevent pregnancy, being a responsible sexually active woman, is just ridiculous. As the article states, if it were a man he would not have received this kind of reaction. Men are insured for Viagra, something that has nothing to do with being responsibly sexual active, but women can’t be insured for something that prevents unwanted pregnancy? Men are congratulated for being sexual, unlike women.

The article also brings up a little about how media teaches us to support these gender roles. In media, women villains are often overly sexual. This teaches children from a young age that “women who are sexually active or allude to being so are bad people.” The article suggests that we need to stop referring to women who have had sex as whores. As obvious as that sounds, it is easier said than done. “Whore” and “slut” are terms that are thrown around all the time by men and even by women. How can we ever make changes we need in order to stop women who are sexual from being ostracized, if women also toss around such oppressive terms?

Women In the Top Ranks of Medicine

Source: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/27/women-still-missing-from-medicines-top-ranks/ While women have been getting more and more jobs higher in their fields of work, one field that is slow to grow is medicine. The majority of people in the upper ranks are men. In fact, only 12% of department chiefs are woman, while medical schools contain 50% women. This huge gap is not for a lack of aspirations though. The article also stated that both men and woman aspire to pretty much the same degree of work and success, so why are woman in the minority? The article suggests that its because its easier to dream when you are a student to be successful then it is when you are a junior worker that has to climb the up the ladder to success, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Its like looking at a mountain from a distance versus up close: it looks a lot easier and more beautiful when you are farther away, but when you are right there you can see how far you have to go and how treacherous it really is. Another thing that makes it easier is knowing that other people have successfully climbed that mountain, and how they did it. So in other words, what these woman need is role models. If more woman in the medical field strive and succeed to climb up the ladder, the more other women will to. Its a large gap, but if we start rising up and making names for ourselves it will inspire others to follow. I feel like this is a good thing to do, not only in medicine, but in many other fields too. It takes work to bridge the gaps, but with hard work and determination, we can make a better future for the coming generations. "If you build it, They will come."

Why domestic violence victims don't leave

http://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave.html

 

These days the form of family have a lot of variation; conjugal families, extend families, lesbian/gay and children families, bisexual families, etc. No matter how different the family is, the common thing among all families is love, intimacy or close relationship between family members and couples.

But I sometimes wonder whether love is eternal and unchangeable thing, and I thought there is a clue to the answer in this Ted talk video.

I was totally surprise to know that the domestic violence starts suddenly and even the victim of the violence can recognize it as domestic violence, because they strongly believe, whether consciously or unconsciously, that they love each other. They believe there is a love therefore the victims don’t leave, even if the partner are about to kill them. Why can people believe so tightly that love will stop the violence someday? Why do they stand until they are hurt terribly or killed by the men who they loved?

 

At this point, I think I found a different between men and women; masculinity and femininity. In general, men try to show their power, strength, and authority during the relationship in order to fulfill the sense of masculinity. They seem to care about physical issues.

On the other hand, women show tenderness, feeling of love, and things which relate to emotion. I guess the gap between their ways of thinking will lead them end of their relationship.

 

But it is also true that there are thousands of couples and families who get along with their partners and live happy lives. What is the difference? Maybe, it is the difference of the partner itself. As the speaker told in her speech, her partner has being abused in his childhood and still had a strong sense of fear of the memory, and hence he attacked her. In this case the important thing is how to choose your partner.

 

Love is blind, so to speak, but it may be essential to step back, stay calm, observe your partner and the relationship between you and him, and think deeply whether if it will be for you.